Down To Earth

Christina Rose

Examining Patriarchy and Matriarchy: Can They Ever Hold Hands?

 Darnell Moore, author of No Ashes in the Fire : Coming of Age Black and Free in America" told Krista Tippet, podcaster, "I don’t want to become a better man, because you all know, what I’ve been told manhood is, it’s not anything I’m trying to aspire to. I want to become a better human person . . .  So I talk about un-becoming — not becoming a man, but what it might mean to un-become: our failing at this project, this cage of ideas of manhood. I think to me that is where our freedom lies." From the podcast: On Being with Krista Tippet

I am a fan of On Being  and recently they did a show  by the new translators of the work of poet Rainer Maria Rilke. He wrote: “Perhaps the genders are more closely related than people think. The great renewal of the world will perhaps consist in this: that male and female, freed from all false feelings and disinclinations, do not seek each other as objects, but rather as siblings and neighbors, to become human together, simply, seriously, and patiently helping each other bear the burden that sexuality has placed on them.”

and

“One day, the girl and the woman who don’t define themselves in masculine terms but as something in themselves, female humans, will require no other completion. 

So much to think about there. Imagine having grown up alone on a desert island where no culture had an effect your gender. No one to preen for, survival would be the constant goal. Whether man or woman, the goal of each day would be food and protection. 

How does that change in terms of male and female though? What would be the outcome for the island under the auspices of a man or a woman?

About a year ago, I met a young woman who was driving her car and repeatedly backed up and went forward to hit my car. I was called from my house by the local niños to come and see. 

Over a week or two, this young lady and I had many conversations. (The first one started with, 'What the heck are you doing to my car?')

 

Well, everything happens for a reason. Once we got past the damage to my car, we talked often and not relatedly.  It turned out she was a student of Feminist Studies at the local college and she told me, "People keep talking about the Patriarchy but I don't even know how to imagine another way of life."

For most mainstream Americans, the idea of a Matriarchy isn't even on the radar. Some may talk about it, but most people can't imagine what it would look like.  I sent her to a website that included good information.

First, as a teaser, this:

WEBSTERS DICTIONARY

Websters defines Feminism: belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests

Websters defines Masculinism:

1. masculinity.

2. an attempt to protect masculine traits and qualities against the assaults of 

militant feminism. 

Whoa. Wait. What?! Women advocate for equality and men are attempting to protect themselves against the assaults of feminism?

To me, that sums up the problem with a BIG FAT bow. 

Women, like everyone else who has not been the Holder of Power for the last couple thousand years, just want to be treated with respect and equality but for some reason, men need to take up arms against that. 

As Darnell Moore said in that podcast, that’s just getting tired and old. 

In researching patriarchy, almost all of the articles I came across were written by feminists. Men just don’t seem to want to talk about it. “Peace in Patriarchy is war against women,” wrote Maria Mies, author of Patriarchy and Accumulation on a World Scale. I would say that we need to add a color scale to that. White Male Patriarchy is a war against anyone else.

Communities all over the country are examining this right now but so far, people seem confused about where to look for change. I did a little research and offer up this next article because while some of us thought the police were about protecting people, it has become clear they thought their job was to protect white people from other people who may not have been dangerous. That is Protecting the Patriarchy on steroids, over-reacting to their own perceived fears without any balance, at all. A total lack of Matriarchy.

Women biologically were intended to nurture, men to protect. Women bear children and were born with skills that help them care for them on a very deep level. Telepathy between mothers and children is not unusual. 

Men are instinctually protective, born that way to keep their families safe. But in a family, as well as the world, without matriarchal balance, that protection overruns everything.  In business and government, no nurturing is allowed. Not in law, in business, in the justice system and beyond.

There have been matriarchal societies. Let's see how they rolled, from the website  ScienceStruck.com, which I did not write. I did edit it somewhat for brevity, with my occasional comments found in parentheses. 

Clearly, not all of the answers are here and there is plenty that is irrelevant but it gives a clear idea of how the mainstream patriarchy is working on overkill, so to speak.

Patriarchy v. Matriarchy

https://sciencestruck.com/matriarchy-vs-patriarchy

The social scene of the world has always been dominated by two seemingly opposing concepts, viz. matriarchy and patriarchy. Matriarchy refers to a kind of society dominated by women, patriarchy is a social system in which males play a dominant role. 

Archaeological and historical studies tell us that ancient societies, which we know today were pagan in nature, were essentially matriarchal. Not only were the women respected but they held important roles and were worshipped with divine mothers or mother goddesses. (By the way, the word pagan is derived from the word paganos, which simply means country person. CR)

As social and religious structures evolved,  authority gradually transferred to males, giving rise to patriarchy. In literal terms, matriarchy refers to the rule by the mother(s), whereas patriarchy refers to the rule by the father(s). (But there are Matriarchal men and Patriarchal women. CR)

There are a number of obvious differences between the two social systems.

The Meaning

Matriarchy is essentially a woman-oriented society, wherein all the leadership and authority rest in the hands of women.

Patriarchy, on the other hand, is a social system, wherein males enjoy all the powers, control, and authority, and women are given subordinate roles.

(Leadership and authority rests in the hands of women. Males enjoy power, control and authority. Note that difference. CR)

The Lineage

In matriarchal societies the descent of the generations is usually traced through the mother's side. Children get their title from their mother, and property is passed from the mother to the daughter.

Most patriarchal societies are patrilineal in nature, meaning the children carry the father’s last name, and property is passed from the father to the son and the children inherit the title of their father, and not of their mother.

Private Ownership 

The matriarchal approach emphasizes the private ownership (or the unimportance of ownership) by both, females and males of the society, of household items, religious or sacred items. 

The patriarchal approach has rested on the idea of only the males having a right to private ownership. Accordingly, they not only own physical, mobile, and immobile property, such as money, house, land, etc., but also own people, which include one's wife, children, and slaves.

Views about Nature

The matriarchal system is nature-oriented. The matriarchs regard nature as an organic whole, and lay emphasis on maintaining its balance at all times. Owing to this, those sources of energy, which do not harm nature in any way are used more (sun, wind, water, etc.). (NOTE: Indigenous efforts to protect water from gas and oil lines. Indigenous societies as far as I know tend towards the matriarchal. CR) Conservation and recycling of resources are considered important, in order to maintain the balance of nature.

On the other hand, the patriarchal system is consumer-oriented. The patriarchs believe that nature has immense resources, which can be used by humans, in order to make profits. Accordingly, nature is considered as a thing to be exploited, and often, non-recyclable resources are used up, leaving by-products that can be harmful for natural balance.

Outlook

The matriarchal society is pretty liberal when it comes to research and experimentation. It is open to change tending to have a holistic approach of looking at things, allowing personal experience and observation to play a very important role in social progress.

On the contrary, the patriarchal society has a very conservative outlook. They do not seem to be very open to change at all times, and also tend to discourage research and experimentation, if they pose a threat to the established norms. They believe in dissection rather than observation, and have a pretty rational approach of looking at things.

(Sounds almost more like two political parties. CR)

Philosophy and World View

The matriarchs look at the world as a harmonious whole. They believe in the idea of several entities coming together in harmony, and facilitating the smooth functioning of the universe. Owing to this, concepts are founded on the basis of perfect balance between two different (and often, opposite) entities. The matriarchal societies also believe in complete union of people with God and nature. 

Patriarchy place different entities of the universe in parallel with each other, such that the two separate entities can never meet, like they do in the matriarchal system. 

For example, God is separate from man, body from the spirit, and so on. It also places certain entities in opposition with each other, possibly in order to lay out the moral code of conduct. 

Patriarchs make a comparison between good and evil, heaven and hell, and so on. Rather than accepting that both opposing entities can exist together, it always attempts either to dismiss or nullify one of them. (Which political party? CR)

Religious System

The matriarchal religion is also pantheistic in nature, believing in the omnipresence and omnipotence of the Goddess and Her oneness with universe and nature.

The patriarchal religion is monotheistic (worship of only one God or entity). Here, gods essentially have a hierarchy, with the major ones occupying a more important place than the lesser ones. Moreover, the male gods are principal divinities, and the mother goddesses are worshiped as their consorts.

Accessibility of the Divinities

In the matriarchal religion, the goddesses often dwell in places easily accessible to humans, such as caves, wells, springs, etc. They are approachable to anyone and everyone, who can worship them out in the open, without any hurdle.

In the patriarchal religion, on the contrary, the gods reside in places where humans cannot reach at all, or very rarely, if ever. These include mountaintops, clouds, fire, and so on. Because humans cannot reach their gods themselves, the patriarchal religion incorporates a number of middlemen or intermediaries in the form of priests, prophets, and/or godmen.

Nature of Worship

Worship in the matriarchal religion is extremely joyful and enjoyable. Every task that people perform is considered to be sacred.

In the patriarchal religion, worship is very serious. There are various myths of how men were cursed because of their wrong deeds. The main emphasis of the patriarchal religion is always on the appeasement of gods, rather than pure, selfless worship.  (Interesting. Are you spiritual to please God or are you spiritual because you celebrate the joy of life and serving others? CR)

Morality

Matriarchy is a very open social system, which does not have any hard and fast moral code of conduct that people are expected to follow. Morality, in matriarchy, is a very personal and  people are allowed to have their own way as long as they are not harming or disturbing others.

Patriarchy lays down a very strict moral code of conduct, which people are expected to follow, come what may. These rules are essentially governed by religion, government, etc. Patriarchy always seeks to teach people the difference between the good and bad, right and wrong, and so on. 

(I would also say, religious patriarchy uses guilt to control behavior where matriarchy allows for mistakes as the path for personal development. CR)

Sexual Orientation

A matriarchal society is often sexually open, and sex is regarded as a religious expression. Owing to this, all kinds of relationships―heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, etc.―are acceptable to the matriarchal society.

A patriarchal society is often sexually repressive. This is because sex here is considered to be of two kinds―one that is for procreation, in which case it is considered to be sacred, while the other one is lustful love, which is regarded to be sinful, and brings shame. Moreover, a patriarchal society essentially accepts only heterosexual relationships and is largely homophobic.

Virginity, Rape, and Illegitimacy

Because this kind of society is open with respect to sexual relationships, rapes do not or very rarely occur. Moreover, a mother always knows her children, and so, there is no question of illegitimacy.

Female virginity, in patriarchal societies, occupies a very prominent place, and is considered to be a virtue, mainly because society is not very open about sexual relationships. Rape is often used as a brutal expression of power and control over the weaker sex. Possibility of illegitimate children is very high in patriarchal society because the father does not always know his children.

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Hello, it's me again. 

Of course, Matriarchy never ceased, and can be seen simply within the differences in political parties. Democrats often focus on the well being of the people, Republicans often focus on the well being of the power structure. Even regionally, people as a whole see the world more in one way than another.

But one thing is certain. In justice, this country has always taken a hard patriarchal positions. Judgement is a word that would not exist in a matriarchy. And in matriarchal societies, such as Native reservations in this country, there is huge bundle to learn from in the pursuit of justice, in a restorative way that has minimal recidivism. 

Discipline is patriarchal. Loving supportive re-integration into society is Matriarchal.

There seems to be a swing towards matriarchy in our society, most notably in that we currently have a man and a woman in the highest offices in the country.  

That's important because this movement should never be about men versus women. 

Matriarchy is simply a different style. Obama and Bernie Sanders were matriarchal men. Women like Kellyanne Conway and Kristi Noem are patriarchal.  

The universe created men and women because each one lacks what the other has. A world that marries the best of both, that does not create a war of one against the other but recognizes the wisdom of each, is what is needed. An openness between the styles whereby both can be considered in every important decision, such as "Do we use tear gas on protesters?" NO. "Do we imprison people who need help?" NO.  "Do we allow our police to kill people?" NO.

But we do need to provide alternatives, and those choices will come easiest from the guts of Matriarchy. But first, the patriarchy has to accept it, and therein lies the problem. Brute force has been the way, and everyone knows we now need a new way.

THIS is where the ultimate in Feminism must lead, into a more nurturing society.  

Feminism should not only be about women reaching the same professional level as men. Feminism MUST be about recognizing the importance of women's inherent qualities. When the more accepting, less restrictive, less punitive, more diverse opinions of our population are recognized, then we will be moving towards the Matriarchy. 

Or not? What are your thoughts. 

See ya next time.